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EMAIL ME
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14 May 2009 - 5:34 pm
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Hmmm, last update 52 days ago. I'm not doing a very good job at keeping this up when it is set to private am I? Clearly I'm just such an extrovert that keeping entries for my own purposes just doesn't tickle me like keeping ones that total strangers could read.
That said, considering I am now right in the middle of the hot flush of job applications it is probably a very good thing this is private. I rue the day my 18 year old self thought that a GREAT name for a private diary would be her own name. Whatta spas. I would abandon this altogether in favour of one with another name, but I still worry a lot about loosing all these entries under this name. Entries in here go back to when I first moved to Glasgow and they are an interesting record of all the ways I changed through that time, I would hate to loose them. They really need to be printed out, I wish I could find the time or motivation to print them out.
Or indeed to do anything of any use. I'm doing a great job at starting a million things just now and finishing none of them. Way too many OU modules (OMG, whose idea was it to do three at once!), way too many other things (BSL, TEFL, job applications), and not enough thesis.
I think my problem is that I am a lifelong A- student. That is to say, in any given situation I do as little as possible but try to achieve as much as possible. Meaning I never do myself full credit at anything, but I usually do OK. This is kinda dumb. I wish the days were longer. I wish I wasn't so easily distracted. I wish I could work better in the hours of daylight.
I'm going to a public lecture in an hour about nanotechnology. I don't know why I am making myself go to all these lectures just now. I guess I'm just looking to answers to the question of 'what the fuck do I want to do with my life???'. It is unlikely I will find the answer to this at a science lecture.
Ach I'm just pissed because I didn't get a job I really wanted today. It would have been awesome. It would have been a future I would have felt comfortable with. But I didn't get it. Which sucks. Rejection is always the most bitter pill in all the many cruel forms it takes. I wonder from an evolutionary perspective why this is.
Adieu
Rxxx
